Alive

Driving myself away from the light is not the way to be going. Feeling myself being sucked back into the pain, into the tormenting feelings that torture me in my waking moments and in my dreams keeps me fighting for the glorious sunlihgt of painlessness. Being numb to every feeling out there? To be numb to the pain, does that mean that I will be numb to the passion and feelings of everyday? Anger, passion, joy, everything! To feel despair and pain shows that I am still here, still alive. To lose that feeling would be to lose what I know.